Monday, December 12, 2011

Laying it down for joy

James 1 :2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

This verse couldn't be more true, when trials come and we turn to God, He finally has our attention. We look up, with tear stained faces and ask "Why God?" Waiting, listening for some kind of answer or hope that He can give. And then we learn, we learn that trials make us stronger and teach us to rely on God more than anything else could.

Sometimes I ponder my life before our loss and wonder who I really was back then…and who I’d be today if we hadn’t experienced TTTS and the loss of one of our twins. Would I really understand the words hope, faith, peace and joy and would I know Christ. I have to think that I wouldn’t, I have to think that this journey needed to happen to bring this all into my life.
I wish it didn’t involve loss to get me there but I am so very happy with who I am, so very filled with joy!
I read this on a blog and thought…yup, this is me….
When I look back, I now see that my Perfect Storm was absolutely critical to my personal growth and my life’s work. Anything less earth-shattering wouldn’t have been powerful enough to rock me out of my complacency. It has taken over three years to reemerge from the other side of the abyss, and I am profoundly changed. With this transformation comes great Joy.
Crazy that this writer also said it took 3 years….I wonder how common that is???

I decided that I would post the words to a song that I’ve known for about 7 years. It was sung (okay over sung) at the school I was at for about 4.5 years, incidentally where I worked 3 years ago, where live changed. I am so glad I heard this song then so that I could turn back to it now…when I am really ready to let go of so many things and lay them down for the joy of the Lord.
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

That last line… I think maybe should be spelled ‘mourning’ sometimes…because I really do believe that I didn’t find joy by chance…it came with the mourning and turned the mourning into something so healing and so full of hope.

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