Tuesday, September 20, 2011

To everything there is a season

Yesterday our daily breakfast devotion was based on Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything
1For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.2 A time to be born and a time to die.A time to plant and a time to harvest.3 A time to kill and a time to heal. .A time to tear down and a time to build up.4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.A time to embrace and a time to turn away.6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.A time to keep and a time to throw away.7 A time to tear and a time to mend.A time to be quiet and a time to speak.8 A time to love and a time to hate.A time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.
It’s been sitting in my head and in my heart all day. I’ve been filled with a sense of contentment and peace in the last few days and at the same time, I’ve been emotional and filled with memories and even sadness about Cole and Cameron and how much, growing up apart, will affect Cameron. I know that my trips down memory lane will happen often but this weekend was more intense and emotional than most given that our fundraiser was all about Cole and Cameron. And given that I finally met, in real life, another TTTS mom and her beautiful survivor. Our stories are similar, our treatment, doctors and medical staff almost the same and our shock at learning one of our babies is gone is identical. It was so wonderful to meet someone who understands the shoes I walk in and understands the post TTTS me unlike anyone else…she lives it too.
And so here I am today contemplating why I can feel so content and so uncontent at the same time. As I pondered this, I kept hearing the Beatles song in my head and realized how true it is. Everything has a season and time…. The good, the bad and the ugly…it all has it’s place and it all happens whether we want it to or not. We can choose to look at it as a burden and be unable to see the whole scope of our lives…as a gift from God, as a journey with Christ. Or we can realize that there are seasons to everything in life, that not all things will go as planned, not all emotions will make sense, not all things will be perfect and happy. We can do this and go with it, embrace it, praise it and be glad in it. For it means, that in surviving it we are strengthened and in being given the tough times we are blessed by God and his love.
So I turn, turn, turn in my season, my time and I lift my hands to the Lord and praise Him for knowing that I am worth these trials and burdens.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Where am I???

Where am I?
You might be asking yourself this…that is if anyone actually watches my blog and realized its been, YIKES, 3 months since I posted. I guess life gets in the way and I think that maybe I have had so much to think and talk about that I couldn’t settle on one thing to post about…or just wasn’t ready yet.
For those that know me well, you’ll know that my husband, Geoff has been out of work for a long time. It’s been stressful, for sure but It’s also been good for us as a couple and family. We’ve spent so much time together over the summer and have been working hard at being the family we want to be.
I’d be lying if I said that things have been perfect and most certainly I’d be lying if I said that nothing significant happened to bring us to the place where we decided we needed to work a lot harder on this family. The fact is we were in a very bad place and our future togetherwas very unknown, dark and scary. But then a light began to shine in us, most especially in Geoff. God found him when he needed Him most. Notice I said God found him not he found God. Many would disagree with me here but for someone who has never had any relationship with Christ I think, at times , that is the way it feels. I know because I feel this way too and I’ve had a relationship with the Lord for years. I’ve always been a believer but I’m not sure what I believed in…still am not always sure but my focus is much more intense now. When you hit rock bottom and there is no where else to go but up and this hand comes out from above to help lift you out of the pits, out of temptation, sin and negativity, you have to wonder whether its you finding God or God finding you. I know He’s always been there for me and I often turned to Him in times of struggle. But I never turned to Him in times of joy, peace , contentment and hope. God isn’t just there for me for the hard times, He is there for me all the time! He always was but I needed that push, that kick, that encouragement to really truly feel Him.
I’m going to be writing a lot in the next little while. Much of it will about my exploration into faith , the bible and my relationships. I have so much to say, so much to share…so much to give praise for!
Right now, though, I want to give praise for the many , many people who came out to support us in our second annual fundraiser for Mt. Sinai and for the wonderful gift it was to finally meet another TTTS mom in person. I am in awe of the generosity of the many people who supported us. I’ll give numbers and updates on the bottom of the next few posts but I just want to say a big Thanks to everyone!
So I guess to answer my own question…where am I? In a great place , held up in times of crisis, sorrow and strife by Jesus Christ, rejoicing at the amazing life God has given me!