Write about something you have given
Like yesterday’s post, the automatic thought this time of year when you think of something you have given might be the brightly wrapped presents under your tree this year or years gone by with the name of a loved one on it. It might be thoughts and memories of shopping for that perfect gift and of the reaction to it.
But for me there is no more perfect gift that I’ve given then what I’ve given to others in memory of Cole. That encompasses a lot of things, a lot of areas. Yesterday I wrote about the gifts God has given to me that I’ve been able to share with others. Having spiritual gifts to be able to offer support, encouragement, hope and comfort to those in need is a gift worth giving in my opinion. It’s one I feel blessed to be able to give. There’s a feeling I get when I know my words have been a comfort, a blessing and a help to someone. It’s a feeling of something being right in the world if that makes sense. A feeling like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and that this journey is so worthwhile.
The gift of my time and of my spiritual gifts offered to words through words and help online is a pretty big part of my life. I don’t know, nor do I actually want to, how many hours I spend doing it. Years ago I talked about this time as a family balance of my mommy time. Each member of my family gets a piece of my time and the time I spend helping others, the time I spend reaching out and offering support or going to the resources I have available to me to get them help is what I consider my mommy-ing Cole time. I don’t get to have hours on earth with him making his meals, washing his clothes or making his meals and most especially I don’t get time with him playing, reading, going places and creating memories. So for me it feels like this is his time. And that feels just right.
Another area of gift giving that I do in memory of Cole is our annual fundraiser. For those who don’t know, in 2010 we began our plan to give back to Mt. Sinai and Dr. Ryan. That year we held a dance with a large silent auction and a few other side activities, including Zack, then 7, cutting his long curls off and raising over $900. The following year we held our first more public event...a mom to com sale and movie night. From there it became, for a number of years, a halloween themed event with an evening family fun night...costumes, party games etc. That event grew, moved locations and then grew again. We added in a 5k run that I actually trained for and ran in for a few years. Now it’s a Christmas Gift and Craft show with a 5k run and a photo scavenger hunt. It’s a ton of work and admittedly I do most of it on my own ahead of time along with the assistance of a great friend who understands baby loss all too well. Together we organize a huge silent auciton (I find almost all of the 80+ items and she posts them online, organizes the bidding) as well as organizing and setting up for our 40+ vendors who come to sell the wares and help support us too. There’s always a few tense moments but in the end we, her, myself and my whole family, walk away knowing we’ve done a great job and held a successful event. It feels good, it feels right and it’s a gift I don’t mind giving… and I don’t mind handing over these big cheques either….