Friday, December 6, 2013

Images of Hope

Just a heads up and's post looks all disorganized and disjointed.  Weird font colours, big spaces etc.... my computer has a mind of it's own.!

 Today I thought I would post images that were Hope themed.  This first one is very symbolic for me.  Light was something I remember made me feel connected to Cole in the days and weeks after he left us.  It was Christmas time and there were candles and lights everywhere.  Sometimes it would be the flicker of the flame when no breeze was nearby.  Sometimes it was just the way the light was reflected. 
I also think of the words 'Jesus is the light of the world' as the birth of Jesus gave the world hope.
 Sometimes it's little things that restores our hope, sometimes it's big things.  The other day I had my hope restored in a person who was very compassionate to me...someone who I am not always able to read or predict how they will act or react.

 This is Cameron for me.  
His very existence, every little kick he gave, every hiccup,
 every movement on ultrasound.... each of these was
all I needed sometimes to have hope for the life we had been given.

I think this was something that is very hard for loss moms to get past... to live without regrets.  It is so hard not to question the choices you made.... I should have researched more so I would have known that I needed to be seen more often, have more ultrasounds, have a level 3 ultrasound that would have detected Cole's cord insertion issue.  I have regrets...many... on how I dealt with the day I delivered him.  But I can't look back with keeps me stuck in the past and it's ahead that is the future.  I can only look ahead with hope and work at living a life that is full of hope, of joy and of peace. 

I love this line... Hope secretly feeds and strengthens promise.

So much truth in that. God promised us a future, he promised us he had a plan to not harm us but to give us a hope and a future. Our hope, our belief that it will get better...that is what feeds and strengthens God's promise

So very true....

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