Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mean Girls

Today’s entry isn’t really about me or about my journey though I am sure I’ll relate it in there somehow!!!
As my title indicates, this one is about mean girls, mean people really.
We’ve been having troubles with this issue with a group of girls at my school. They seem to think they can just leave one girl out, ignore her, tell her not to follow them, talk about her and then tattle on her when she gets fed up and says something back. Why young girls behave this way is beyond me, I was never a young girl??? Actually I was never like this as a child and might add that I am VERY happy that I have all boys!!!
But as a young child I did do things that weren’t always nice and then felt horrible about it and within minutes was trying to fix the situation. I think I still do that now….I am always the one who apologizes first, always the one who stews about something for days only to find out the other person completely forgot about it.
So back to my girls…. We talked to them about whether it was ever okay to be mean. And of course, being the good catholic school that it is, we talked about whether God is happy when people are mean. Of course the kids answered no. But then we talked about whether meanness happened in the bible. Not surprisingly, the kids said that no one was mean in the bible….that should be the answer right??? We spent some time talking about people who were mean in the bible and what God and Jesus thought about that….and what Jesus taught them about this.
But the most important part of the discussion was yet to come…and is the reason for the entry. We talked about whether adults are ever mean and pointed out that mean girls become mean woman….the kind of person no one admires, no one really respects but often the person everyone is somewhat afraid of. Would you really want that to be you? Is that you?
I’d love to say that’s never me but the truth is I am human. I do say horrible things sometimes, I do things that aren’t the way a good person, most especially a good Christian, should behave. Sometimes I hate myself for the things that come out of my mouth, for the actions that I have. Tonight was one of those nights. I couldn’t get over how hard it is sometimes to stop the crap from coming out and from stopping the anger that comes so easily. But as I said before, I am the kind of person who, most often, feels immediately bad about my actions and needs to apologize…even if I am not the only one at fault.
Don’t you just wish that everyone behaved this way or better yet, lived the good Christian life and didn’t do the ‘meanies’ in the first place. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful world? Wouldn’t it be great if no one said things to upset us, no one hurt our feelings or left us out. There are so many times that I have felt left out, especially in the last 18 months or so. So many times things have been said that have hurt me, or maybe NOT said that have hurt me too. Mean people exist everywhere, mean girls become mean woman and there is no way to live in a mean free bubble. But forgiveness, now there’s a God given gift that is so valuable. Being a person who can forgive easily….well that’ s not me all the time. I am trying and have, most certainly, come leaps and bounds in this area.
I’d like to think I am the kind of person that people would look at and never say ‘now that’s a mean girl’ and I’m pretty sure I am okay there. But I know I am not a person that people would say forgives well, moves on well, treats everyone kindly all the time and is full of respect for all. I’m not okay with the person I am sometimes but I know that I am trying and know that a mean girl I am not.

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