Happy New Year to everyone! It's a new year and for me I am hoping it brings my new version of the 4-H motto...Health, Happiness, Hope and Healing. As I ponder these things I am reminded of all the things 2009 brought us and can't help but remember where we were a year ago right now...having been rushed to Toronto by ambulance as my water had broke and everyone was pretty certain that one Mr. Cameron Tummers was very soon going to make his arrival. As the tests progressed and more was discovered we became more and more concerned about this tiny miracle inside of me. Everyone was so sure that Cameron was coming very soon and we were so very worried. Worried that he was so small for his age, worried that I'd be having a baby born in Toronto and worried about what was happening with our big boys at home.
I wondered if he was born this early how delayed he'd be....would he sit on his own when he should....
but would he crawl on time...would he have trouble with motor development.
Well it's taken abit of extra work but....check!
And I worried that he might not be able to survive...60% chance of survival with no complications...10% chance he might now survive at all. And just how tiny would he be, how hard would it be to grow and gain.
Looks like he's doing well on the gaining and growing...and the survival thing, well that would definately be a CHECK!!!
For you created me in my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
I worried then what it must be like for him to be in there wondering why his brother wasn't moving and growing anymore.
Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
And although Cameron seems to have a hard time being alone and has an intense and focused look about him at times, I think he's making the best of things!!!
And so are we. Cameron is the best sign of a miracle that I've ever seen. God has blessed our family....we are so very lucky! His smiles can light up a room and we constantly get comments from strangers, family and friends about how happy he seems to be....is he always like this? Well yes, most of the time. Sometimes he is so intensely sad in the middle of the night and I think that's when my boys play together most....and who would want to be waken and lose those moments of play with the brother you miss so much. But all in all Cameron is blessed with the most joyful spirit I've ever seen and you can't help but to feel God's presence when you are around him. I truly believe that he wouldn't be who is today if Cole had survived. He is who he is because of the love and life of his twin and although I will always wonder what life would be like if Cole was here I know that it would be a completely different world that we would be living in.
Thanks for being my miracles sons Cole and Cameron!
Praise God for He is Good!
Thank you Lord for blessing our family with this little miracle here and the little one you enjoy in Heaven. They truly are gifts from you that our family needed so desperately. I may not understand why things have happened the way they have but I know that you are with us and will guide us to Heaven to see Cole again. Kiss my baby for me....he is so very precious!