Saturday, September 25, 2010

Amazing

I have heard this song so many times...most often on youtube video's of TTTS survivors and angels. I decided to look up the words today and share them. I'd hoped to put the song in my playlist but couldn't.
Amazing - Janelle

The morning cold and raining,
dark before the dawn could come
How long in twilight waiting
longing for the rising sun
ohoh ohoh Oh ooh

You came like crashing thunder
breaking through these walls of stone
You came with wide eyed wonder
into all this great unknown
ohoh ohoh Ohoooh Oohh

Hush now don't you be afraid
I promise you I'll always stay
I'll never be that far away
I'm right here with you

[Chorus]
You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...
You are

You came from heaven shining
Breath of God still flows from fresh on you
The beating heart inside me
Crumbled at this one so new
ohoh ohoh Oooh ooohhh

No matter where or how far you wander
For a thousand years or longer
I will always be there for you
Right here with you

[Chorus]
You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...

I hope your tears are few and fast
I hope your dreams come true at last
I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on
I hope you wish on every star
I hope you never fall too far
I hope this world can see how wonderful you are

[Chorus]
You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing...

You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...
You are


It's just such a beautiful and heartfelt song from a mother to her child...or children...especially those who've been on one heck of a journey like so many I know have been.
All of my children amaze me...for so many wonderful reasons.
But I'll be honest, Cameron and Cole will always be the children who amaze me the most. Their conception amazed me (okay it surprised me too!!!)...twins amaze me but ones conceived by the same egg and sperm...splitting perfectly and forming two identical beings...wow, that amazes me. The situation that occurred within my placenta was such a crappy thing and yet they survived it with no signs of any troubles for 21 amazing weeks...that is so awesome. When it did rear it's ugly head it was quick and vicious and the outcome was horrible yet both the boys amazed me. Cameron amazed me because he survived. He defied the odds... Dr. Ryan pretty much told us that...to have no affects from the TTTS at the time of diagnosis at all...pretty amazing. Then he went on to amaze us by surviving the anemia and blood transfusion with no issues either. He also survived my water breaking at 26 weeks (known as pPROM) and went on to amaze us with his health and continued growth for another 8 weeks. And best of all he amazed us by arriving healthy with no concerns and an amazing spirit...such a little wonder he is. He is so full of life and happiness, full of energy and mischief. Perhaps he is two little boys in one little body???
But he's not the only amazing one....Cole...well I think he's even more amazing. He hid all his medical issues from us until it was safer to do the surgery...safer for Cameron not for him. He left us when it was safe to leave and then he went on to keep us safe for the next 11 weeks...and beyond. There is no medical reasons for all that was going on to not have been more obvious...or rather to have affected him different. He had so little share of the placenta and yet he grew fine, his cord was so far from the placenta that he was barely getting much for nutrients..yet he grew and kicked. He left us on a cold day in December and yet his spirit lives on. He watched over his brother and kept him safe for 11 long weeks...8 of them in a very critical situation. He traveled with him into this world and protected us both. He watched as his brother took his first breaths, cried his first cry and was seen by his loving parents for the first time. He watched over his mom and dad as they cried over him and his silent still body. He knew it wasn't the time to tell us that he was okay, he knew we needed to cry.
He went on to amaze me as I feel him guide me to help support other TTTS families. He inspired us to raise $4000 for the hospital that saved his brother...it didn't save him but that didn't matter...he shines like the stars and amazes me with the beauty that is his spirit. He lives on in us all, most especially his twin and has blazed right into my heart....I'll always be here for you sweet baby boys and I know that you, sweet Cole, will always be here for me.
You're so amazing....

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