This mornings devotion seemed most fitting on this anniversary week. The focus was on the disciples and how Jesus prepared them for what was to come even though they had no idea of these lessons they would need. This question was asked at the end of the devo....
Remember a time in your life when God was at work but you weren’t yet able to see it. How does that moment now act as a spiritual anchor that strengthens your faith during challenging seasons?
I shared this as my response....
Fifteen years ago today I underwent surgery to correct a condition, called TTTS, that was occurring within the shared placenta of my unborn identical twins. The day before I had been diagnosed with this condition and sent, almost immediately, to Toronto where the diagnosis was confirmed and the surgery explained. All the medical staff we encountered were very optimistic, everyone was quite certain that both of our boys would be fine once they recovered from this surgery. My faith existed but I did not really have a relationship with Jesus at the time, not like I do now. That being said, I knew to pray, and so, before I went to sleep the night before surgery, I prayed that God would heal my boys and protect them for the remainder of the pregnancy.
And while the surgery itself was successful, the TTTS had progressed rapidly in the 18 hours or so from my arrived in Toronto to when I had surgery and our son, Cole, was very sick. The day after surgery we went for some assessments and discovered that his heart had stopped beating. It was the worst day of my life.
It was very hard to find God in those moments. I didn't understand why he would have made me pregnant with twins in the first place, in a pregnancy that actually wasn't planned, only to take one of them away.
In the many months and actually years that followed, I began to see how God had worked in our lives in all of those moments. I saw how he had protective Cameron from becoming as sick as his twin and had kept him from being born at 26 weeks when my water broke. I saw how he looked after my family in the many months that I spent in the hospital after my water broke but before my twins arrived at 34 weeks. I felt him as I walked along a path of darkness and grief and I saw him directing me towards the light. I heard him in the words that he inspired me to share with others going through similar journeys and in the thoughts that came to my head about what I could do to help other people by fundraising for the hospital that ultimately save Cameron's life.
But most of all I know that God was with me as he helped me grow my faith and learn to trust him and then share that faith and trust with others who are also questioning where God was.
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