Friday, February 11, 2011

The Son always shines...

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Well that’s not true…I’ve been writing a lot lately, just not on the blog.
The book is coming along well. I will admit that at times it is hard to write. Bringing back the memories is emotional for me but it is also so wonderful too. Remembering my boys together is wonderful, even in the times when both were in my womb but only one of them had a heartbeat.
I would have to say that I am amazed at what I wrote then, at how in tune I was, how well spoken I was, how open and honest. I hope that the tone of the book will come off okay and I hope that I can bring it into perspective for those struggling with the loss of a loved one, for those who have lost a baby or child and most of all, for those who have lost a child or children to TTTS.
And speaking of books… the one that I helped to co-author is finally in print. I keep forgetting to order my copies but here is a link from amazon.
At this point in time it’s only available on kindle but will be in paperback next week I think.
I am hoping writing in this book will help me to get my book published more easily.
Anyway, on to today’s ramble….
I’ve been dealing with a lot of frustration lately. I think it’s the winter blaws and cabin fever but I’m not sure. It just feels like there has been lots of short fuses lately and tons and tons of frustrations.
The other day on my way to work I was having a very bad time with it. The negativity coming from me was thick…you could have cut it from a knife. The thoughts running through my head bordered on cruel and it was just a pretty crappy day.
About 2 minutes from work there is a church which often posts unique and uplifting or thought provoking messages. That day it read “Through the storms the Son shines through”.
I read that message and I stopped…not the car but my head. My horrible thoughts drifted away, my anger resided and my mood lifted. Suddenly the reason for the anger didn’t seem as significant. Suddenly I could see the Son in my storm cloud.
I didn’t turn all of it over to God right there and then. I am human, I can’t always move on that quick. But when I left work and drove by that sign again I smiled… the Son and the sun had both broke through my storm….peace was restored!
I think this message could be used for angry moments and am most certain for sad and stressful moments too. I know I couldn’t have endured this journey without that Son shining through my storm. As I’ve read over some of the things I wrote more than two years ago I can see that, often, I did see Jesus shining through, I could feel God’s love. Grief is a difficult thing, a long journey and the loss of a loved one, especially a child, is the monster of all storms. But that Son…well it just keeps on shining through.

One last quote to leave you with…I found this on a motivational calendar…
An Irish Toast
These things I warmly wish for you –
Someone to love,
Some work to do,
A bit o’ sun
A bit o’ cheer
And a guardian angel
Always near.

Thanks to my special guardian angel..I am so glad you have helped me find my way out of some storms you so much!

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