After the postings I've written over the last few days I wanted to follow up with the other side of the mixed blessings that twin loss gives us. There are sad days for certain but there are so many more happy days, so many days filled with joy, love and peace.
I found a book online that I am working at reading...I've never done this before, read a book online and it's an interesting process. The book is called Awakening from Grief by John E. Welshons.
Admittedly, I haven't made it past the first chapter yet but I wanted to share a few things that I have read so far....
When death comes into our lives we feel devastated. We feel confused. We feel numb. We get angry. Our hearts ache. We feel hopeless.
The healing of these painful emotions comes through rediscovering the love, peace and joy that comes within us – eternally. We can never lose them. No matter how sad, depressed, disappointed, angry or hopeless we feel at the moment, we can never lose love, peace and joy; because love, peace and joy are the essence of who we are. In truth, we are beings of light and what we need when there is darkness in our lives is more light.
When love is the chosen remedy, there is no hurt, no wound, no sadness that cannot be healed.
If we can look at the losses in our lives a little differently, if we can change our perspectives just slightly, we may see that within this experience lie the seeds of a new beginning, a new life, of a deeper experience of love and fulfillment than we ever imagined possible.
I look forward to finding this joy and seeing our loss from this perspective. I am already pretty certain of some seeds that have been planted by Cole and I know, for certain, that my life is so much fuller with him in it in whatever presence he is than it ever would have been without him.
I also found this picture and caption online today....
One becomes two for the sole purpose of becoming one again.
I wonder if all identical twins are like this apple or just those where one twin lives on earth and one in Heaven. Someone once told me that she had it explained to her by a psychologist dealing in the loss of an identical twin that God only created one egg in these type of twins. That egg chose to split but it was always, in his mind, only one egg. Sometimes those two halfs of one whole an live together on earth and be visible by all but other times they need to be put back together again and live as just one person.
Perhaps our twins are just like this apple.... they became two for a short time just so to complete part of a journey but their sole purpose was always to be one again.