Friday, January 18, 2013

Someone in one of the Christian infant loss groups that I belong to shared this video today..

What’s Mine is Yours Lyrics - Katherine Nelson 
Counting down days since nine months last summer
From the baby quilts to the sunshine light-switch cover
All the plans she made
Wall-papered dreams she made for him someday
Doctor hardly glanced her way shut off the monitor
As he walked out the door said “You’re young, there’ll be others”
No sirens or loud screams
No rushing or comforting
It was just over
On the longest road toward home
She parked in the church lot and cried
And said
What’s mine is yours
It’s always been
What slips through my hands has your fingerprints on it
I’m letting go
Though Heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours
Teenage girl clinging to the gates of mercy
Holding the weight of the world and her newborn baby
Trying her best to be brave
Wrapped in hope giving him away to a longing family
When her courage met their eyes she saw
Somehow her baby was born to be in their arms
And cried
In this life we come and go and say goodbye
But there’s more than we can see with our own eyes
And when my faith’s a thread-bare blanket and I can’t take it anymore
I remember
What’s mine is yours
I’m letting go
Though heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours
Wow...what's mine is yours. How often do we forget that in our grief?  How often do we feel that something has been taken from us?  How often do we hold on to that grief as a way to hold on to that loved one?  
Losing a child is horrible.  Losing anyone is horrible but losing a child has a pain that can not be compared to anything.  Your hopes, your dreams, your plans for the future...all shattered.  Today I was reminded of this, once again, as I learned of another little angel who went to be with Jesus this past week.  This wasn't a TTTS wasn't even a baby.  A young boy of 5, healthy and full of energy one day and sick and then gone the next.  Unbelievable.  I don't know this little boy really.  I knew his sister well... she was a student at the school I worked at when I was pregnant with the twins.  I actually worked in her room that year and I remember Rory being so excited about my belly and telling me that her mommy had just a baby in her belly ... little Sam, who left this world on Tuesday.  I know that the family is devastated and I know that there is so many unanswered questions.  And right now the answer that this child was never truly theirs may not bring comfort but I pray  that one day they will find hope like I have.

Psalm 127:3

Children are a gift from the Lord;
    they are a reward from him.

God gave us all that we have but it is sometimes very easy to forget that all that we have is from him, especially our children.  Children are a gift from God , they are just on loan to us,  they never belonged to us just as we don't belong to this earth.  They are simply here for as long as it takes for their mission to be fulfilled...just as we are only here on this earth until we have fulfilled our mission.  
Letting go and allowing what is his to return to him, leaving us with memories and leaving us with hope.

Romans 14:7-8

For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

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