Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I can only imagine how awesome it will be...

I had the most AWESOME experience this morning and I just had to share with everyone. I was out jogging…. Oh, I should explain that too…. So I’ve started this journey to be healthier, fitter, thinner, more active…you name, I want it!!! Back a few months ago I was working, well re-working, through a book called Thin Within. I may have mentioned last fall, not sure. It’s a grace approach to weigh loss and I learned so much from it, realized so much about myself and why I eat, why I feel the way I do about myself. So a few months ago I decided to redo the book, reset some goals. I had a ‘Holy Spirit moment’ while I was doing it and ended up writing this as a goal…”I will become more active, more intense in my workouts and build my strength and endurance so that I can begin to run in a few months. I will be learning to run so that I can bring ‘The Race for Fetal Hope’ to Toronto and run in it’. Now to anyone who knows me, and even those who don’t you may think ‘that is one crazy thing for Jodie to write’… I hated running, made fun of runners and wondered why anyone would ever chose that as a form of exercise. I was absolutely convicted by the Holy Spirit to write this…and to do this. I’ve never had a more intense feeling of being directed by the Lord til then….it happend again this weekend…but that is a blog post for another day. So now you know why I was jogging… I’m at day 3 of couch to 5k and actually did ok with it today. While I run/walk, I listen to worship music and today, just at the very end of my walk in the gorgeous sunshine on God’s glorious earth (it was already a very spiritual moment…I felt so close to the Lord, so connected) I heard this song. I’ve heard it before but I’ve never, ever felt the connected I did to it as I did today. I’ll share some of the words before I comment as to why this was so very awesome…

I Can Only Imagine lyrics

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the sun

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I listened to this with what I can only define as rapture. I could picture it, or I guess I could imagine it. I could see myself meeting Jesus, I could see his smile, I could see the radiant light around him. I could imagine all of the things that this songs speaks to… dancing for Jesus with my arms spread wide and open, spinning in the radiant light of him. Staring at him in awe and wonderment, still and focused. Standing up straight and tall like we do for anything we show pride for, like we do when our national anthem is played… standing up to honour him, to show him how proud I am (okay bad word since pride is a sin but you get my drift) that he gave it all for me and that I am here with him now because he took away all my sin by dying on the cross and only asked that I believe he is my saviour and lived my life for him. Falling to my knees in complete obedience and honour of him, falling to my knees in adoration, love and reverence and in sheer amazement to just be in his presence. Singing to him all the words of glory that I can think of, singing the words of worship songs that my heart sings with these days. Silently sitting as his feet completely unable to speak because no words seem worthy of him, no words seem enough to express my absolute love of him. But more than these intense feelings was a feeling of ‘that’s it, that’s what I didn’t have before, that’s what I didn’t get”. For the first time, EVER…heaven became a place for me and Jesus, a place of glory, of love and reverence and a place that is all about the Lord and how wonderful he is and how awesome it is that my life has been lived in such a way that I am there. For the first time EVER it was not about Cole. It was not about getting there so I could see him again, living my life as a Christian so that I will be with my son in eternity. Cole is just a wonderful added bonus but it’s not the first thing I’ll see, the reason I am there or the most amazing thing I can have in heaven. That is Jesus and wow…what an awesome feeling it is to think that Heaven and Jesus are just that absolutely AWESOME!!! Thanks for letting me share this moment of rapture. What an awesome day it has been!!!

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