Wednesday, December 8, 2010
TTTS Awareness Day 2010
So yesterday was World TTTS Awareness Day
This day was created by the founder of the TTTS Foundation as a way to honour her sons who suffered from TTTS, pay tribute to the memory of her son who passed away from it and most of all to raise awareness about the syndromes that can affect identical twins.
Last year we 'participated' in this day...I sent a few messages out and we light candles in honour of our boys both online and here in our house but I wasn't as 'involved' in the TTTS world. It was still so fresh and so hard.
It still is hard and I know that I am going to be reliving a lot of painful memories over the next few days but I am also so... well amazed at all the joy (yes I really said that) that TTTS has brought into my life. This is what we did this year....
First we light a candle for our donor...that would be the adorable little boy checking out the candles. He amazes me each and every day. He overcame such odds and truly is a miracle. I still am not sure how we managed to escape without really any 'harm' to this sweet little boy. I look back now at all he went through and just can't believe he's here, he's fine and he's MINE!!!
Then we light another candle to stand beside the first, a candle for our recipient baby, our sweet son Cole. He did not make it to earth, he did not take his first breath here but he lives on and has given us so many moments that have taken our breath away. I light these candles together because my boys will be together forever in my mind, in my heart and in theirs too. No one can take that 'twin-ness' away from them and forever their lights will shine together.
Interestingly enough, Cameron couldn't stop looking at Cole's candle. He wasn't interested in his own at all but was all eyes for the one we light for his brother.
And then I blew out Cameron's candle for he is the a light here on earth, full of energy and life. He does not need a match to show us all his light. Cole's remained burning for hours as light seems to remind me of him and he seems to come to me in beams of light. The light of his life will burn on forever, he has given me so much.
TTTS took a lot from me but it also gave me a lot. I am a different person, I will never be the same but I don't think my new normal is a bad thing, just different. For those who wish for the old me...I'm sorry, she's not coming back. Hopefully the new me will be someone who can be admired for new qualities. Right now I am pretty proud of some of the things I've done for TTTS and for other families. Yesterday I made public a new project I've been working on with moms from across Canada and I hope this holiday season you will consider donating to this amazing charity that changed my life, the lives of all of my family members and saved the life of my dear sweet miracle Cameron. It's a season of giving...won't you think about giving even just a few dollars.