This year I decided to participate in a photo challenge during the month of December. I have not been posting them here but have decided I should. Hopefully I'll be able to post them once a week or so. This week I'll also get back to some writing.
New Normal
The old normal was a whole heart that I never knew could be so completely connected by pieces that belong to everyone in our family. We may not all be here on earth together and there may always be a piece that hurts a lot more than the others but together we are a family.
Light and Dark
Sometimes the darkness seems so prevalent in our grief. It surrounds us. It overwhelms us. We wonder when the dark will end. But like the darkness of night, there is light the comes, the sun rises and light sneaks into the dark and spreads out. Darkness may return but know, like the dark of night, there is an end, a new day.
#whatsyourgrief #holidaygriefphotochallenge
#infantloss #twinlesstwin
This complete family photo that was made for me will always be my forever....forever a question of what it would be like, forever hard to imagine and most of all forever what my family will consist of in my head and heart. A dad. A mom. 4 boys including a set of matching ginger haired boys.
#whatsyourgrief #holidaygriefphotochallenge #ttts #tttsloss #twinlesstwins#myforeverfamily
#whatsyourgrief #holidaygriefphotochallenge #ttts #tttsloss #twinlesstwins#myforeverfamily
Help
Finding a way to make this journey, this loss make some sort of sense, have some sort of purpose has taken me years. Right from the start I felt God was calling me to offer others support and advice, and asking me to advocate for better care in mono di pregnancies as well. And so all of these groups were created by me, along with some friends in some cases, to do just that.
What If
I'll always wonder what life with twins would be like. Most days I can't imagine it and don't even have a minds visual of Cam as part of matching set. But my heart will always wonder just as it will wonder what might have been if I'd had different doctors early on, if surgery has happened earlier, if diagnosis had happened later and we'd delivered prematurely instead. What if....
#holidaygriefphotochallenge
#whatsyourgrief #ttts
#twinlesstwins #tttsloss #tttssurvivor #tttssurvivorwithaguardianangel
#holidaygriefphotochallenge
#whatsyourgrief #ttts
#twinlesstwins #tttsloss #tttssurvivor #tttssurvivorwithaguardianangel
Separate
Today I moved all my Willow Tree figurines to a different area for Christmas. This lone girl was left behind as I kind of forgot her. It made me think of me, of being by myself, seperate, at times. Quietly looking at the world around me, wondering where I fit in.... especially around people who were apart of my life 10 + years ago. I feel distant, alone in my thoughts, full of contemplation on why I'm on the journey I'm on. Is this really my life?
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