Advent Challenge Day 20 - Bless

Have you ever been told that you're such a blessing? It's one of those awkward moments for me. Almost as awkward for me as being told someone admires my strength. It's different than when you give someone a gift and they say thank you. When you do that, even if you're not looking for thanks, you didn't do it for the thanks that you would hear, there is sort of a sense of expectation that you'll hear it. Now when you bless someone, when you do something that's completely unexpected for someone, you don't do it with any intention of being thanked. Not if it's a true blessing in my opinion anyway.

But that's not actually what I'm talking about though. I'm talking about being told you are a blessing. That you, yourself ,are a blessing to someone in need. So often a blessing is more than just an action, more about your personality, your talents, your gifts then it is about what you've done for someone.

And while it is awkward for me to be told I am a blessing, I also know that it is such a heartfelt compliment. I've been told this after I've done something like take food to someone in need; someone who's had surgery, had a death in the family, had a new baby or is just having a tough time. And while that is one of those times that is a little easier to accept, it's a little less awkward because I did do an action that I could be thanked for, it still feels weird.

What is more uncomfortable for me is being told I am a blessing by someone who I've opened my arms and heart to at a time of emotional need. My heart leads me to do these kind of things and so a compliment about it just doesn't necessarily make sense to me. It's kind of like I talked about in my post about strength. There really isn't any other choice to me. It's just something you do, something that comes natural. And for me, it's something that feels like it has Heavenly guidance. It's definitely gift, a spiritual gift, that God has bestowed on me. And when it comes to being a blessing to someone who is going through TTTS and even more so, someone who has suffered a loss from it, another pregnancy-related complication, stillbirth or infant loss, it feels like it's something that Cole is sending me to do from heaven. It's like it's his way of still being involved in life on Earth.

And so when I look at it that way, then I guess it is perfectly okay to be a blessing to someone else. It's not awkward at all. It's just how my son can live on through my actions.