Write about something magical
I’ve struggled with this one. I wanted to write about the magic of Christmas….I mean what is more magical than the excitement of children at Christmas. Some of best memories from my own childhood involve the seeing Christmas lights and decorations put up in our town, travelling to ‘The City’ to watch the Santa Claus parade, going to see Santa in our own small town and, of course, getting up early Christmas morning to see what Santa had brought us. And I have similar memories from my own children’s magical experiences at Christmas.
And although that magic is awesome to take in, and as much as I do enjoy watching it, it’s not the kind the warms my heart this holiday season because, well because it’s not from the heart. I mean it’s wonderful and I totally embrace ‘Santa’s Magic’ at Christmas. We definitely ‘buy’ into the myth of Santa despite what some believe about it ‘teaching your kids that a lie is ok’. But as much as giving is from the heart and giving our kids this ‘magic’ feels great, it’s not the same as a magic I see in my kids, most especially Cam, around this time of year and even throughout the year regarding the connection they have with their brother in heaven.
It usually begins with putting up the tree. As we go through our box of ‘Cole’ ornaments (and I cry, of course) they each offer hugs and love to me and also to Cole. They talk about some of the ornaments and where they came from or what they mean. Each year they eagerly help to (or instruct us to) pick a name from an ‘angel tree’ type of toy drive project. The name must be a boy in the same age range as Cole. Together we go to the toy department and select a gift that we think Cole would love to get this Christmas and then we donate it in his memory. In this process there are usually lots of comments about what Cole would do if he was here, what they think he’s doing (or has done) up in heaven. There are always comments about how much they miss him and wish he was here but they also talk about him like he is. He is their brother and they each have their own way of connecting with him. Sometimes it’s questions or comments, sometimes it’s actions towards others and sometimes it’s just in their facial expressions as we talk about him.
This doesn’t just exist this time of year although it is definitely more prevalent. It’s also part of their daily prayers, which for our family occurs at meal time as part of grace. Each one of my kids, when closing a prayer, says ‘Please give Cole a hug and a kiss up there. Amen’. It’s rarely forgotten and if someone does forget then someone else adds it in. Some may think it’s a ‘sad’ ritual but to me it’s a magical connection. It’s their way of connecting the God we pray to, thank and share praise with, to the brother they firmly believe lives in heaven and that they will someday give their own hugs and kisses to in heaven.
It’s a magical connection that I’m sure goes both ways. If it didn’t then I don’t think my kids would be as comfortable talking about him and definitely not as eager to help with projects we do in his memory. Magical love that extends from earth to heaven…. Yup, definitely the kind of magic I believe in!
It usually begins with putting up the tree. As we go through our box of ‘Cole’ ornaments (and I cry, of course) they each offer hugs and love to me and also to Cole. They talk about some of the ornaments and where they came from or what they mean. Each year they eagerly help to (or instruct us to) pick a name from an ‘angel tree’ type of toy drive project. The name must be a boy in the same age range as Cole. Together we go to the toy department and select a gift that we think Cole would love to get this Christmas and then we donate it in his memory. In this process there are usually lots of comments about what Cole would do if he was here, what they think he’s doing (or has done) up in heaven. There are always comments about how much they miss him and wish he was here but they also talk about him like he is. He is their brother and they each have their own way of connecting with him. Sometimes it’s questions or comments, sometimes it’s actions towards others and sometimes it’s just in their facial expressions as we talk about him.
This doesn’t just exist this time of year although it is definitely more prevalent. It’s also part of their daily prayers, which for our family occurs at meal time as part of grace. Each one of my kids, when closing a prayer, says ‘Please give Cole a hug and a kiss up there. Amen’. It’s rarely forgotten and if someone does forget then someone else adds it in. Some may think it’s a ‘sad’ ritual but to me it’s a magical connection. It’s their way of connecting the God we pray to, thank and share praise with, to the brother they firmly believe lives in heaven and that they will someday give their own hugs and kisses to in heaven.
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