Welcome to this journey of blessings I hope to take each day
til after Christmas.
I have so many ideas of things to share that have come to my
life because of the journey my twin sons began for me at the moment of
conception. I think that just might be
the best place to start this ‘Gifts of Christmas Mourning’ project….the
beginning of it all but more specifically what I learned about that time in my
life after all of it had come to an end.
I had no idea how it would end when I learned I was
expecting twins and I am so very glad I didn’t.
I worried about how I would
manage twins…the finances, the feedings, the sleepless nights etc. But, what I
never worried about, was what happened and for that, I am so very glad. I am so glad I didn’t know how it would end
because I would have focused all my energy, my headspace, my emotions on that
ending and would have missed the joy of expecting twins.
Garth Brooks puts it best in his song “The Dance”… I am so
glad I didn’t know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could
have missed the pain but I’d a had to miss the dance. Years ago I made a video
that used his song to tell the story of my pregnancy, please take some time to
go the link and watch it…I would appreciate you remembering this time in my life
along with me…now excuse me while I watch, remember, maybe get a bit weepy but
mostly just marvel at that exciting time in my life!
We can’t predict the future, we can only live in the
moment. If my loss taught me
anything (ok it taught me many things),
it taught me to appreciate the moments we have, the joys of each day, the time
we have with others. It taught me to
build memories that I can cherish, that others can cherish.
The time that I had with my boys was nothing short of
miraculous and despite all the pain I endured in the loss of Cole, I will never, ever regret that I had that
amazing time and will be forever grateful that I didn’t miss dance.
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