With Hope

"With Hope"
(click on the title to listen to it ..it doesn't seem to be working on my player)

This is not at all
How we thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We has so many dreams
But now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you

And we can cry with hope
We can say good-bye with hope
'Cause we know our good-bye is not the end
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say 'well done.'
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now your home
And now your free


We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true


We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope



Does this song not just say it all? I found it by accident online a couple of years ago and went for awhile where I listened to it many times a day and I also have blogged about it before...and basically this is the blog from then. Each time I listen to it I feel so close to Cole, I feel his touch and his breath on my skin...it's that comforting. It's just what I need at times.
In researching this song I came across the story of how it came to be. It is written by a man named Steven Curtis Chapman. Chapman is a Christian musician who, just a few months before crisis struck my own family, was struck by his own personal tragedy. His daughter, Maria Sue, adopted from China, was struck and killed in her own driveway by an SUV driven by her 17 year old brother. This family was shattered but still filled with hope, still able to see the light of God at this sad time. I found this all in an article written by another Christian blogger. After writing it he had many followers who wrote him with questions of how this writer and this family could possibly see hope or find good in God in this. I really connected with his response.

Where is the hope in this death of Steven Curtis Chapman’s daughter? How can you say God is good?


Let’s be honest here. It is hard to say, “God is good,” during situations that bring us to utter pain and desolation. But the path to hope and healing always goes through doubt, pain, anger, grief, and mourning. To not be able to bring our honest and real anger, doubts, and pain to God makes a mockery of the veracity and the redemptive power and grace of Christ.

But there is a path.

There is Hope because Death Does Not Have the Final Say! While I clearly cannot speak for God, I do not believe this death was the will of God. It concerns me when Christians are so easily able to explain events as “this was the will of God.” But nevertheless, it is not outside the Sovereignty of God. In other words, God is in control, remains in control and will always be in control. God was not surprised. He is sovereign and He alone is God
There is HOPE – even in this tragedy – because it cannot separate us from the love of God that is the gospel of Christ:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 8:38-39]


There is HOPE because the Chapmans do not journey alone. For example, as evidenced by the millions that searched for their stories on search engines, the thousands [literally] of comments on the In Memory of Maria tribute and blog posts, people care. The body of Christ cares. When we don’t have the courage and strength to HOPE, others HOPE for us. No one person or one family exists on an island to themselves. This is the beauty of the body of Christ.

There is HOPE because ultimately, God cares. He has not forgotten or forsaken. And He continues to use all circumstances and situations – even tragedies – to beckon His children and the larger creation – back unto Himself. God restores. God reconciles. God redeems. There is HOPE because there is Life beyond this world. There is HOPE because in short, there is God.

God is HOPE.

Such a powerful answer. And so similar to my beliefs... tragedy isn't God's will but His response is...and our response hinges on that. Nothing can take away His love, nothing can seperate us from Him. When we can't find hope others will find it for us. When tragedy strikes it is often how we cope that is the thing of hope.

One thing this song brings to mind for me is that I need to focus on the here and now, not the past and my wishful feelings that I could live in a time where life was easier, naive and simple. I can't change the past and keep Cole with me. I also can't live for the future and worry about it. That's for God and Jesus to do...worry for me, to take my worries and comfort me. I can't change the future either though I can affect it by my actions now.
Instead I must live for now, for the love of my friends each day NOW. For the love of my family NOW and most of all for the love of Zack, Brycen, Cameron and Geoff NOW.
Now in saying that I will live for one part of my future...the Hope I have for the time when I will see Cole again, hold him in my arms and tell him how much he was and is loved. I can tell him that each day too, he hears me, I know he does. He feels my love in the extra hugs and kisses his twin gets from me. (okay so the kid might be a bit spoiled, what can I say). The life I live here on earth will reflect my journey back to him and to God. Being positive, helping others, finding a focus and purpose for the journey Twin to Twin Transfusion put us on will bring me closer to him.
I can and will live my life 'with Hope'.
Love you baby boy!